What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Why do some people have sex with dogs?

True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How can a hacker damage me, realistically?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do siblings (or other close relatives) stop visiting each other as they grow older? Why does this happen with so many people nowadays?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Is Melania still angry that she failed as a model? Why is she so cold and hostile? Why did she blame everyone for her actions in her trite book?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.